Calling The Ghostbusters

Calling The Ghostbusters

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog that I forgot to save and when I went to search for something elsewhere online I lost what I had written. I was so upset that I didn't even want think blog again. I had been working on my Egon tribute dedicated to the late Harold Ramis. As most of you are aware Harold Ramis passed away February 24, 2014 after suffering complications of an infection known as autoimmune inflammatory vasculitus. This was a very tragic loss to both the comedy world and the Ghostbuster world and it leaves most of to ask what will happen to the future of The Ghostbusters?

Some years back I had heard that one of the many script ideas for the new Ghostbusters movie revolved around the "pass the torch" idea to a younger new generation of Ghostbusters. Back then I saw the name Seth Rogen (This Is The End, Pineapple Express) and Eliza Dushku (True Lies, Wrong Turn, Bring It On) on the cast list. Two actors I really enjoy watching. We don't see enough of Eliza. I think she'd be a great Ghostbuster. It would be awesome to see a woman with a proton pack and I believe Eliza is the perfect fit to play that kind of woman. She's is very sexy which will add something new to the group. She is also quite brazen and to be a Ghostbuster you definitely have to have back bone.

Where are The Ghostbusters?

Now, I, like many other people, have been calling for The Ghostbusters for many years now and where the fuck are they? It hurts to have lost Harold Ramis before they could make another movie and I intend to fully address that situation in another posting. And I know I am being selfish by behaving as if getting another movie is more important than a person's life, because it is no way close; and by behaving as if the first two movies aren't more than enough, but it just hurts to watch them toss the idea around in front of us for so long and never be able to complete an actual final project together. There are different rumors as to why the film was never made but since I wasn't there I cannot say what really happened.

I know that recently there was some sort of press release stating that an actual Ghostbusters 3 movie is currently in the works. Ivan Reitman will be returning to assist with the film, however, as a producer and not as the director. Reitman spoke on the loss of Harold Ramis being a tremendous contributing factor to why he will choose to stand down as director while still lending a hand to the project from a producer's distance... in a nutshell.

Overall, the studios plan to go forward with a third Ghostbusters film as sort of a "reboot" or "passing of the torch." That is all fine and dandy but who exactly are we talking about passing the torch to? As I stated earlier Seth Rogen and Eliza Dushku were named as cast members for the next movie. But, because they did that, I now have to imagine Seth Rogen as a potential new age Ghostbuster, therefore, I have to think about who I can see as the other Ghostbusters around him. And I think I came up with a pretty good list. The list should be a no-brainer since "This Is The End" is my favorite movie. But I still had to work some things out.

Now, of course, in "This Is The End" everyone was playing themselves. In a Ghostbusters movie each person will be playing a particular character. So, let's take a quick glance at who I can see playing The New Ghostbusters.

Putting Together the New Ghostbusters

                                         "WoW, guys... That could totally be us."

Huh??? Huh??? What's that? Oh, you like that, huh? Yeah.

You know what the funny thing is? No matter how you viewed these guys before, you're never look at them the same after you see them as the Ghostbusters. I mean, let's face it, The Ghostbusters get all the hoes. Everybody and their baby momma wanna be a Ghostbuster.

But the fun doesn't stop at that picture because there a few other motherfuckers we need to account for. This was the cool part of my mission while trying to use Hollywood's finest to construct my version of a 2015 and beyond Ghostbusters movie. The shit needs to be funny. These guys are funny and the people I'm about to mention are just as funny. So, let's take a look at some of the other Ghostbuster personalities.

We've already discussed Eliza and we know she is the new blood, so, I cannot say much about her character. But, as far as the characters I do know I would like to see what we could make of them and I will also further explain my take on the pictures above.

First off, we have the only fuckin' guy who's a Ghostbuster but we never fuckin' see...

Winston Zeddemore. Where the fuck does Winston be at half the time? Does he have a family? Remember Ghostbusters 2? Where was Winston when they went to go check the slime? Then, the Ghostbusters go to trial for fucking up the street and Winston didn't even go to the courthouse to check on his boys; or to help catch the ghost that popped up out of the slime. Is he even on the payroll or does he get paid under the table? We know he didn't have to sign anything when he got hired they just said "You're hired. Welcome aboard." 

Anyway, who better to play Winston other than my main man Craig Roninson?

             "Since I've been with these guys I have seen shit that'll turn you white!"

That would be absolutely gnarly!! Tell me you couldn't see this being so. This is the most logical choice. If we are talking about making a new Ghostbusters movie that is going to be funny. Craig Roninson is the funniest black man making movies right now.

This is when it started to get real fun to put together the new Ghostbusters, even if it's just all in my head. Now, to explain the picture up top. When I first looked at it I had different ideas for Egon and Ray. My initial thought was to replace Egon with Seth Rogen and use Michael Sera (Superbad, Youth In Revolt) would make a good Raymond Stanz. My original match up didn't even have Jay Baruchel (This Is The End, Sorcerer's Apprentice) in it. Then I saw the picture that I used up above and was like "How could I have missed this?" It was right there the whole time. That was when I knew Seth Rogen would be Ray, Jay Baruchel would be Egon and James Franco (Spiderman1,2&3, 127 Hours, This Is The End) would be the one and only Peter Venkman. 

Now that I have explained my view of the pictures above let's talk about what happened to Michael Cera. Do you realize that if you try to type his name in while the spellcheck is on it will keep putting up ceramic? Even without doing anything that guy is a pain in the fuckin' dick. But I wanted to find a place for him nonetheless so I found out who he was. But then it looked like it was a toss up between him and his muscular good looking "Superbad" sidekick and that was for the role of the very protective neighbor of Dana Barrett... Louis Tully.

                                   "I DID IT! I DID IT! I'M A GHOSTBUSTER!!"

For me me it was a real toss up on this one because they can both be assholes and they can both be dorks. With one it seems like the obvious choice. Of course I mean with Michael Cera. But, Jonah Hill (22 Jump Street, Funny People, Superbad) is dumbass funny and could shine a new light on a different version of a Louis Tully. Here's the thing, though. It needs to be fatass Jonah Hill. Not 21/22 Jumpship. Jonah knows there's nothing funny about being physically fit otherwise he wouldn't have said it in "Funny People." If he can't do that, fuck it, give it to Michael Cera.

We've come quite a ways but we are certainly not done. Oh no! Let's not forget our hot little red head firecracker, Janine Melnitz!

                                         "WE GOT OOOOOOOONNNNNNE!!!"

Now, for Janine, it was very difficult for me to see someone replaces the wonderful Annie Potts (Ghostbusters 1&2, Who's Harry Crumb). Then I thought, "Well, how about Helena Bonham Carter? Then I said "Naaaaahh!" We are looking for a woman who's a bit younger and while I was writing this it suddenly came to me...

You're damn right! Aubrey Plaza!

You may remember her from "Funny People" "Scott Pilgrim" the currently successful "Parks And Recreation" or possibly from one of her many stand up performances. She is hilarious and she has this delivery style that is unmatched. Sort of nonchalant but still like "Hey, what the fuck?" Ya know? She'd make for an excellent Janine, in my opinion. Plus, they have the same initials (AP) so it makes the most sense.

Anchoring The Ghostbusters

There seems to be, in this entire wacky cast of characters, one person who seems to live in the world we come from. This person is the center of both Ghostbuster movies. They are the victim that keeps finding themself in horrific situations and needing to call upon our four heroes. That person is none other than Dana Barrett played by the incredible Sigourney Weaver (Ghostbusters1&2, Aliens1-4, Copycat, Paul). 

Sigourney plays very strong character roles and any woman looking to put herself in Dana Barrett's shoes is asking for an adventure for two lifetimes. And to be quite honest I am having trouble coming up with someone to replace her with. It has to be some one who can maintain their seriousness without looking like a jerk while dealing with jerks who find everything funny. Who, where is this woman? I am at a complete loss for a Dana Barrett replacement. Maybe they can just ask Sigourney to come back. Nah, that wouldn't work... WHO!?!

Ahh, well. Every blog post can't be perfect. I put together the whole fucking movie pretty much. All Hollyhole has to do is find a cool woman to play Dana.

But, before I wrap this up, there is another character from the Ghostbusters cast that I would like to see again. Besides the ghost being a problem, of course, there needs to be a direct human element of adversity. I'm sure you guys remember this dude right...

                        "May I please... See the storage facility, Dr.Venkman?"

       

Yeah. Good ol' Walter Peck. What a hole that guy was. This is a very easy replacement.

That's right! A hole for a hole. Danny McBride (Pineapple Express, This Is The End, Eastbound&Down) is the perfect hole for the part. I love this fuckin' guy. Everything he does is a straight win. He is completely unabashed and simply doesn't give a fuck and that always makes him a true treat to watch. He never seems to ask for much but what he gets he absolutely deserves. The man really is Kenny Fuckin' Powers.

Hope For The Ghostbusters

I hope you all appreciate my extrapolation of what I think a new Ghostbusters should look like. Even if you don't agree with all of it I am sure there is something here that made you look and say "Hmm... That might work." I have no idea what Hollywood is planning to do other than what I said up top. Keep your eyes open and ears to the grapevine for more new articles and updates to the movie. I have my fingers crossed that they come to a final decision before it gets too late. With the loss of Harold (Egon) Ramis I am sure many will say that it is already too late, but I have faith and I want to let it b known that there is plenty of hope for the Ghostbusters. Maybe someone that matters, or someone who knows someone that matters will read this blog and get it into the right hands.

God bless Harold Ramis as well as all of the other Ghostbusters. And just to make sure this thing is complete and I didn't leave you hanging, here is my replacement for Dana.

                                                "Are you the key master?" Hell yes I am!

Yes, bitches! The original Hitgirl -- Matilda. The always superfine Natalie Portman (The Professional, Heat, Garden State, Star Wars ep. 1,2&3). She can do anything! How about that for the perfect Dana? You know you love it.

Till next time, folks!

-Didodi

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